Sunday, September 18, 2011
Being pregnant is no easy feat. Every day that goes by brings a new challenge. Can I get up without my lower back screaming? Can I put on my shoes today? Can my body stop itching all over? Can my arms and thighs stop expanding? (I mean these babies are in my tummy not my thighs and arms.) Can I try to exercise without every part of me aching like I am a 80 year old woman? Can I please control my raging hormones and control my tears that flow for no apparent reason? I have such a respect for anyone who has ever had a baby and even more for those who go on for two, three, four etc. People don't realize all the changes that take place and all the sacrifices we as women make in order to create life. I was really sick for a couple weeks in the first trimester and remember thinking, why would anyone ever go through this more than once?! I know, I know, because A) you forget and B) the miracle of life that comes as a result at the end. I don't want anyone to misinterpret my last post, I do not think that because I was told by a family member to think that Heavenly Father trusts me so much that he is sending me two means that he trusts me MORE than anyone else who has one at a time. I am severely humbled by this pregnancy. I do not believe that I am more qualified or more capable at all. There are many women out there that I think are WAY more qualified to have twins. To cope with this insecurity I have to remember what I have always been taught, that we will never be given more than we can handle. I still struggle with the idea of taking care of two at a time. I knew I was ready for one and that I always wanted twins, but once the doctor told me I was actually having two I was filled with fear. Fear that I won't be able to handle double duty, fear that I won't be a good mom for both, fear in many different aspects. I am so grateful for the love and support I have been given by my family and friends. I know that without that this pregnancy would be a lot harder. I have been blessed with so many wonderful examples in just my own family alone. I have so many amazing and wonderful Aunts, Cousins and Grandmothers who are amazing wives and mothers. KUDOS to all you great mom's out there! You are my constant inspiration.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
It has been over 4 months since I have written in this blog. I would apologize but so much has happened that I am perfectly content with my hiatus. I am in my 19th week of being pregnant with TWINS! We confirmed at the doctor about a week and a half ago that we are having a Boy and a Girl! These last four months have been an interesting roller coaster of sickness, exhaustion, fear, anticipation and anxiety but most of all overwhelming joy and love. We feel so blessed for this miracle in our lives. I have been getting a lot of different responses when I tell people I am pregnant with twins... "Oh, congratulations?" "Wow, twins huh? That's gonna be a lot of work." "My condolences?" "Oh, I'm glad it's you and not me." "Oh wow, you are going to get HUGE!" Sweet right? Don't get me wrong here there are just as many happy responses as well and those are the most helpful... "That is so exciting!" "Twins would be so fun!" "I always wanted twins!" "You guys are so lucky, lots of people dream of twins!" One response I got from someone very close to my heart in a time when I was overwhelmed, scared and stressed, was something that has stuck with me the most, she told me, while I sobbed on the phone, "You are so blessed, Heavenly Father trusts you that much that he is sending you two of his sweet little spirits at one time. You are about to experience what many people dream of but won't always admit. Take this in stride and count your blessings everyday." I cannot tell you how much I repeat those words in my head, they have given me a whole new insight and gratitude for this blessing in my life. It reminds me that Heavenly Father has a plan, only he can see the bigger picture. He knows us individually. He knows are strengths, our weaknesses, our desires. He knows our fears, our joys, and our futures. I know that I will never be given more than I can handle, not to say that I won't feel stressed or tired, overwhelmed or defeated, just that I will be given the tools and strength to handle whatever is thrown my way and for that I am extremely grateful. I am excited for this adventure that is going to start in just a few short months and await the arrival of my two sweet babies.